Broken Knee vs Broken Heart

People say a broken heart is painful, but that is nothing compared to a broken knee. A broken knee is a thousand times more painful.

It was the 18^th of September,2014 – one of the worst day of my sporting career. I shouldn't have played that match, all the signs whispered to me to stay put and study for my qualifier exam. But I could not leave my team alone, that’s not how I was taught to play the beautiful sport.  I get an adrenaline rush just thinking about playing Football.  So there I was in the gold fields at Purdue warming up with my team at 6PM in the evening. I was all pumped up for the match. I even wore my IITH #6 Jersey. I felt great (a touch cocky too) as I felt we had a really good team . Our team OMEGA ( Official Mechanical Engineering Graduate Association) had players from all over the world – China,India, US , Spain and Brazil.  I thought this year would be it, to finally break the jinx and win the gold.  

So the referee blew the whistle and chaos ensued. Our striker passed the ball to the left back, and he passed the ball to the center back (Nobody passes the ball to the center when there are strikers so close to the center back!). I was playing in the right back position. The opponent had fast strikers I thought I should go for the ball.  I made a vital mistake taking the ball back in – then a series of unfortunate events unrolled. The opponent striker took the ball and I went for the tackle with my left leg. I landed it awkwardly on top of the football and the opponent striker mishit the football and ended up kicking my left knee cap. I felt mind numbing pain for the next fifteen minutes. I couldn't even breathe properly. I was carried outside the field by my teammates and they called the medics. I was praying that it was not a broken bone; it took me all the courage in the world to look at my knee. Phew! Fortunately there doesn't seem to be anything out of place! I was used to a lot of minor injuries and in a way used to pain however the pain I felt after that injury was unbearable.  I felt my knee cap was unstable and I thought of the next worst thing after a broken knee – a torn ligament. I immediately went to the emergency room with a friend and took X-ray and had the doctor examine my knee. They had to send the X-rays to another hospital for expert opinion. I had to wait for a long time in the emergency room. The wait was like half hour but it felt like forever. The doctor came back and said there doesn’t seem to be any damage to knee and it is just a sprain. Phew! I thought I dodged a big bullet.  He told me to follow RICE ( Rest Ice Compression Elevation) for the next few days I could actually walk ( limp) as I left the ER. I was surprised to find that half the team was waiting for me outside the ER.

Happy to leave the ER without crutches! you can see the doc in the background ! He somehow remembered me from last year when I went to him with a  sprained wrist.

 Ten days passed, the swelling in knee did not reduce and I felt pain if do any sudden movements with my knee. This got me scared and I went for a sports doctor opinion. The good thing about living in a major university is that they have excellent sports medicine. So just moments after examining my knee the doctor told me that I have a compete tear in my ACL (anterior cruciate ligament). Damn, it sounded like a serious injury and I thought after taking rest for two or three months and the knee would heal. Then the doctor explained that the ligament won’t heal on its own as it doesn't have any blood flow and I will need a surgery if I ever want to play again. I felt so many emotions and thoughts at the same time. I remembered my goal against KGP and I momentarily forgot all about the injury.

  Then reality struck me when she explained all about the surgery and rehab following the surgery. One piece of advice to anyone who will be undergoing surgery – never ever see the video of a surgery before-hand (especially if it’s a knee surgery- it is barbaric). It’s not for the light hearted. So after four years of playing collegiate level soccer and a year of intramurals, I have finally done it.  The doctor explained that it might be even a year before I can think of playing football again.  Football was my safe haven for many years, I felt devastated. The mental frustration is much more unbearable than the physical pain. I was using painkillers for the next two weeks. I also started doing physiotherapy every day for one hour. Even the simplest exercises such as leg rises seem to be impossible at first. Then after days of pain, it started getting better and I moved on to advance exercises.  I still have a long way to go before the surgery and even longer way to go after that. One important lesson I learnt from my old team and my coach is to “believe “. The thing about injury and downtime is if you push through it you challenge your body and push your physical barriers and emerge stronger than before.  I do hope I can play sometime soon. Till that time the following quote from dark knight will always be in my mind.

PS: I started doing a lot of research about sports injuries. If you are active in sports , some of the following links might be helpful to you.

1) Here is a link about ACL injury and its prevention  http://sportsmedicine.about.com/od/injuryprevention/a/ACL_prevention.htm

2.) http://www.webmd.com/men/features/seven-most-common-sports-injuries